Where we're headed...

It's been a while since we posted here. If fact our last post was October of last year. When we announced our plans to adopt, we did a few small fundraisers and then we didn't say much more. That doesn't mean we don't want to adopt. Holidays can be hard. Especially hard when you've lost a child (or two) and in our case four days before Christmas. Last year was a hard one for me emotionally and we needed to take a step back. Grief is an ugly monster. It rears its ugly head in places you would least expect it and with no notice. 

We recently were approached about a situation-- an expectant mother who is 17-years-old. The possibility kindled a fire in us and reminded us why we want to adopt. That mother has decided to parent her child. We want to be prepared though because ultimately we plan to adopt. 

So what does that mean? We are back at it with fundraising and trying to find creative ways to save money.  We are saving, getting crafty, offering to do odd jobs, selling items laying around our house (that we forgot we even had), and who knows what else. We have also been trying to determine which method we plan to use for adoption. There are SO many options -- agencies, attorneys, private, open or closed and then options inside each of those options. After talking we decided to submit an application with DSS. We called DSS back in June regarding applying with them and were shocked when they said they were not taking applications. It seems like we see stories on the news all the time of children being abandoned or needing care. I couldn't imagine DSS saying they were not accepting applications and to be honest it was discouraging. I texted Matt and told him I was so unsure. What did this mean? God has a plan. That's what he reminded me. When I called DSS again in August, they are again taking applications. We feel DSS will provide the structure we will need throughout this process. If you have ever felt the call to adopt and/or foster or simply want more information, please visit the SC DSS website. 

You'll see more posts in the next few weeks and months on how you can pray and help if you feel led to do so. We appreciate your prayers. We have learned already that the adoption process brings a multitude of emotions -- joy, anticipation, fear, sadness, excitement. Please pray that God prepares our hearts for this journey.

Thanks in advance for your prayers and support. 

Broken

A while back I posted a drawing on Facebook with a blog post to come soon...I realized that blog post never made it even though I think about that picture almost daily. 

A friend and I were discussing our hurts and pains and how we see ourselves and how God sees us. Out of that came this picture....that's how I see myself. I'm a vessel that I know God has plans for and intends to use. The pain and heartache that comes from losing five babies is devastating. I see myself as someone who is absolutely broken and God is capable of putting the pieces back together. I am by no means perfect as there are cracks and imperfections left behind from each loss. Sometimes when grief rears its ugly head I feel the pieces fall apart again and God is gracious to pick up the pieces. He is ever so patient and picks up the pieces each time with grace and comforts me. As the holidays approach I'm a little more fragile and all the more grateful for my loving Saviour who continues to use broken vessels.

Sometimes you have those days where you feel like the devil will not leave you alone. Yesterday was
one of those for Matt and I. I remember sitting in hermeneutics in maybe 2002 with Robert Sims and somehow we went from diagramming sentences to talking about Satan's power. I remember clearly, leaving with a more clear sense of the power Satan does have especially when we as believers are doing our best to live for Christ. Yesterday started with Bella locking me out of the house and Matt spilling a drink in his car (and if you know him you know he keeps it really clean) to deep discussions on how work is affecting our family and our frustrations with the adoption process and the lack of support we've received from individuals we thought for sure would rally behind us. We both had crummy days at work and so as the day ended we both felt a sense of desperation and like we were fighting "something." That's when (on my drive home) I rebuked Satan. I realize not every one believes the way we do but I believe strongly that as a disciple of Jesus, I have the power to rebuke Satan and he trembles. Now did everything get sorted out in one evening? No. But we both laid her heads down still knowing that despite support and frustrations that we are holding to the call has placed on us to adopt. I asked Matt if he was doubting our decision to adopt. It warmed my heart for him to answer "no." He's a good husband and I could not imagine life without him by my side. Even more I laid my head down knowing that spiritual warfare is a very real thing and while Satan may try and try to get the best of us, God has already won that war.

Change is good...

Several weeks ago, Saturdays meant sleeping in (might as well since Bella does too), watching cartoons, and being rather lazy. Fast forward and now Saturdays mean getting up at 8 am. It gives me a couple of hours before Bella is awake, I have three thick stacks of paperwork to complete and organize. Adoption paperwork is no joke. I have a set of paperwork and Matt has a set of paperwork and even little Bella has her own small set. Obviously its easier to deal with when she's asleep so I can still play once she's up. 

Our current short-term goal is to raise $2,000. That's the amount required to submit our formal application. We are making progress...baby steps but its progress. 

I'm curious who reading this has adopted before or has been adopted? Will you share your story in the comments? 

Get your t-shirts!

Our t-shirt fundraiser is up and running! Hop on over to our page and check our our fun shirts. Whether you purchase one or not, will you share our page? Thanks!

https://www.bonfirefunds.com/the-brewers-are-adopting

A gentle reminder

I've been reading through the book of Romans before bed. Last night as I read I found myself unsure of how to pray. Adoption isn't easy. We are only in the beginnings of the process but already I feel overwhelmed by the amount of paperwork. There are so many items to complete on a list that seems to go on for miles.

We have had so many people who are excited for what God has in store for us and at the same time we have been discouraged by the lack of response from some we thought for sure we would hear from. That isn't to say that they've done anything wrong but this process is long and hard and I could use all the encouragement that will come my way. We have a long way to go to raise the necessary funds for adoption. We are trimming our budget and saving. Every penny I spend I ask myself should this money go towards our adoption? We have fundraisers in the works but a truly successful fundraiser requires a lot of work in advance. So I sat there puzzled. Do I pray for God to send someone to encourage me or do I pray for our funding or even that our paperwork would be an easy process? Surely, I sure pray regarding all of it but in that moment I sat in the bed and felt so overwhelmed.

I continued to read and that's where God reminded me that was he was there with me and that even when I am overwhelmed, he is in control. Romans 8:26-27 "Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God."

God is good and he knows the heart of his children.

Here we go....

Thanks for following along in our adoption journey!

We are so excited to open our hearts to adoption and cannot wait to see what God has in store for our family.

A little background: we met at North Greenville College in 2000. I (Crystal) knew right away that Matt was the man with whom I wanted to grow old. We married in December 2007 in Flat Rock, NC. It was the Christmas wedding of which I had dreamed. We decided to start a family right away. Over the next seven years we experienced three miscarriages, a set of stillborn twin boys, and one amazing little miracle, Bella, who will be four in November of this year. Infertility has been hard for both of us and we have had to trust that God knows what is best for our family. This year we began to talk about growing our family and over and over adoption came to the forefront of our minds. We have prayed and both feel like God has placed the call to adopt on our lives and trust that God has great things in store for us.

We have chosen to adopt through Bethany Christian Services. You can check our their website for more information. They have been around for since 1944 and place more than 100,000 children annually! One of the mean reasons we chose Bethany is because of their support system, not only for adoptive parents but also for the birth parents offering counseling and support 24 hours a day. At this time we are working on our formal application which means lots and lots and lots of paper. When we submit our formal application, we'll also pay a $2,000 application fee. After that we'll complete training in Columbia. Our home study is next as well as a $2,000 home study fee. Once our home study is approved, we wait! We have friends who have gone through this process and we know the waiting is hard but will be worth it in the end.

Some of you have already contacted us to ask how you can contribute. We are grateful that you want to help. We know that without our friends and family adoption would not be possible. We need your love and support. We have set up a YouCaring page. Most people are familiar with GoFundMe pages. We did our research and have decided to use YouCaring. While GoFundMe charges a percentage of each dollar contributed, YouCaring does not which means more money goes to the cause you have chosen to support. If you would like to donate, you can follow this link. Thank you in advance!

Thank you for checking in and we ask that you pray for our family as we prepare our hearts for the child God has chosen for us. Also, please pray for the mothers who love their children enough to make the difficult decision to place them for adoption.

We'll do our best to keep you updated on the process as well as our fundraising goals.